Most Popular
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Barack Obama and Me
It was the year 2000 and I was a young hungry reporter in Chicago covering a young hungry state legislator
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A Prison Cover-up During Hurricane Rita
For days after the storm, inmates in Beaumont lived without A/C, electricity or hot meals. Press releases kept saying everything inside was fine. Guards and prisoners agree — that was nothing but B.S.
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Little Bitty Burger Barn
"It's okay to be little bitty in the big city" is an apt slogan for this new burger joint, where sliders rule
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Live-Action Role-Players Get Boffed in Amtgard
Amid flailing swords and flying shields, these modern-day knights fight on
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It's Hip to Be Square at Masraff's
Continental cuisine is over, so why would anybody want to eat at this retirees' hang-out on South Post Oak Lane?
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Barack Obama and Me (254)
It was the year 2000 and I was a young hungry reporter in Chicago covering a young hungry state legislator
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A Prison Cover-up During Hurricane Rita (21)
For days after the storm, inmates in Beaumont lived without A/C, electricity or hot meals. Press releases kept saying everything inside was fine. Guards and prisoners agree — that was nothing but B.S.
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Are You Hot Enough for Citizen Lounge? (7)
All This Useless Beauty
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Live-Action Role-Players Get Boffed in Amtgard (5)
Amid flailing swords and flying shields, these modern-day knights fight on
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What's the Problem Houston? (4)
The city's skuzzy alt-rock scene thinks it is dying
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Are You Hot Enough for Citizen Lounge?
All This Useless Beauty
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Rap's Rapidly Vanishing Female MC
The Why Chromosome
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A New Official State Song for Texas?
A case for a new or different, anyway state song
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Marilyn Manson's celebrity dating club
Mechanical Animals
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Local Punks Something Fierce Try to Act Their Age
We Were the Young Americans
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You Know What I Don’t Understand? Andy Rooney
06:17AM 03/14/08 -
SXSW: Health, The Cribs, The Black Keys, The Soundtrack of Our Lives, And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead
12:12PM 03/14/08 -
Woody Williams Stats Not So Solid
03:48PM 03/14/08 -
Jameson’s Rarest Vintage Reserve at $250 a Bottle
12:20PM 03/11/08
What we are writing about
- American Gangster
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- birth defects
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- I'm Not There
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- players' scoring averages
- Proletariat
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- Toyota Center
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Recent Articles By Brian McManus
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Patriot Game
What's a real American to do on Cinco de Mayo?
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Houston's Food Nazis
Some are curmudgeonly but intriguing. Others are just a bad trip to S&M land.
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The Abattoir
Goring another of music's sacred cows
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Islands, with Why? and Cadence Weapon
Saturday, April 29, at Walter's on Washington, 4215 Washington Avenue, 713-862-2513
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Mama Mia
Our blushing Nightfly takes his Catholic mom to see R. Kelly
National Features
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Phoenix New Times
Canine Crusaders
That drug-sniffing dog up ahead? He may not be your best friend.
By Ray Stern -
Broward-Palm Beach New Times
The Muscle Men
Thanks to a string of Florida "anti-aging clinics," baseball's steroid scandal isn't limited to superstars.
By Michael J. Mooney -
Miami New Times
Picked On
Farm workers earn nada in America's green-bean capital.
By Janine Zeitlin -
Village Voice
"Why I'm No Longer a Brain-Dead Liberal"
An election-season essay from one of America's greatest playwrights.
By David Mamet
"Ass shakin' competition champ / Ooh that pussy gets damp." So begins "Backyard Betty," the first track on Spank Rock's full-length debut. Much like his breakout single, last year's "Put that Pussy on Me," it's a bass-rattling, ass-dropping, beat-banging party-starter big on well-placed thuds and DJ Assault/Mike Jones-like repetition. Along with the opening phrase quoted above, the words "I'd tap the ho" will burrow their way into your skull while they're massaged by a computer/keyboard lick oddly reminiscent of Kraftwerk's "Pocket Calculator."
We've all heard that old Ecclesiastical chestnut time and again: "There's nothing new under the sun." It's a simple statement, easy to remember and, most important, true. But with its simplicity comes a distinct loophole: What if a hodgepodge of "old things" were combined to form something, while not wholly original, umm, newish?
For instance, there are instrumental phrases on Yoyoyoyoyo that could slip comfortably into a Depeche Mode song ("Bump"), even if King David Gahan most likely would never choose to sing lines such as "Like the Kama Sutra I'll hit it from every angle!" or "I ride like Kelly Bundy, yo, I keep that shit nasty," in the words of guest MC Amanda Blank.
In many ways, the fantastic Yoyoyoyoyo defies description. Lyrics along the lines of "Slam back that Sparks" suggest it's a rap album marketed to white hipsters, but there are simply too many electro flourishes, thick new-wave keys and Miami bass nods to stuff it into such a cluttered drawer.
Perhaps this is what Spank means when he raps on the mind-bending banger "Rick Rubin," "Is this good shit, or is it just too slick / Or is it off key, is it just too hip?" Yes, Spank, it is indeed all of those things. He continues: "Is it not enough, is it just too much / Is it out of touch or is it the touch / Does it get you movin' or is it too confusin'?" Once again, check the box marked "all of the above."
The music on Yoyoyoyoyo is such an elaborate stage set, a cynic might believe it's been constructed to distract. Not so. Spank, as an MC, delivers his rhymes with a silky ease that recalls Timbaland's long underrated partner-in-rhyme Magoo, had his DNA been fused with that of Q-Tip. When he's truly unleashed, as on "What It Look Like," it's easy to see dude's got skills. He's a hype man á la Flavor Flav, capable of getting the party started, but versatile enough to release his inner Chuck D. And hornier than Luther Campbell.
Spank's nod to Houston, "Screwville, USA," is a slowed, lazy blast that single-handedly justifies an otherwise silly genre. When Spank's halftime flow implores the listener to "Puff the herb" and "Sip the purple," you can practically feel the hit in your lungs and the syrup on your lips.
If nothing else, Yoyoyoyoyo proves that while there may be nothing unexplored, there are certainly new ways to look at old shit.










