Most Popular
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Barack Obama and Me
It was the year 2000 and I was a young hungry reporter in Chicago covering a young hungry state legislator
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Mescaline on the Mexican Border
Texas is the only state in the country where peyote is sold legally. Really.
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A Prison Cover-up During Hurricane Rita
For days after the storm, inmates in Beaumont lived without A/C, electricity or hot meals. Press releases kept saying everything inside was fine. Guards and prisoners agree — that was nothing but B.S.
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Little Bitty Burger Barn
"It's okay to be little bitty in the big city" is an apt slogan for this new burger joint, where sliders rule
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Ghost Town CFS: Carriage House Cafe
Step back in time to a spooky old carriage barn with a monster chicken-fried steak
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Barack Obama and Me (253)
It was the year 2000 and I was a young hungry reporter in Chicago covering a young hungry state legislator
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A Prison Cover-up During Hurricane Rita (21)
For days after the storm, inmates in Beaumont lived without A/C, electricity or hot meals. Press releases kept saying everything inside was fine. Guards and prisoners agree — that was nothing but B.S.
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Save Lobo: A Siberian Husky Mix is Sentenced to Die (28)
Why? Because he's big and intimidating and because one family complained about him over and over again
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Are You Hot Enough for Citizen Lounge? (7)
All This Useless Beauty
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HoustonHipHop.com Relaunch Party (5)
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Sister Act: The Other Boleyn Girl
Sibling rivalry in all its royal glory
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The Spiderwick Chronicles is Both a Smart Children's Fantasy and a CGI-dependent Weepie
Tangled Web
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Romero and his zombies are back with "Diary of the Dead"
Status Update: Vlogged to Death
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Charlie Bartlett Could Use a Dose of Mean
Kids These Days
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Fast and Loose: The Bank Job
True or false? This heist flick is too much fun to fact-check
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It’s 3 a.m., and the Kid in the Bed Is Voting for Obama
06:14AM 03/12/08 -
Be of Good (Blue) Cheer
06:42AM 03/12/08 -
Spring Training: Draft Dennis Quaid!
02:04AM 03/12/08 -
Jameson’s Rarest Vintage Reserve at $250 a Bottle
12:20PM 03/11/08
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Recent Articles By Robert Wilonsky
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Stardust
Matthew Vaughn hacks at Neil Gaiman's fantasy wonderland
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Elvis Is Everywhere
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Fuzz Busters
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No Reservations
No Reservations is sweet and savory fare. Without the foam
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Chow Time Again
National Features
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SF Weekly
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The Pitch
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Martian Child
Schmaltzy Martian Child attacks John Cusack, all dads
By Robert Wilonsky
Published: November 1, 2007
John Cusack, who more or less began his career sneaking a peek at Molly Ringwald's panties in Sixteen Candles, has finally become an onscreen daddy — only took, what, 23 years? Except, he's not exactly the most fortunate family man on film: First, in Martian Child he plays a widower who adopts an abused child with an alien complex (the kid thinks he's from Mars); next, in the upcoming Grace Is Gone, he'll play a man whose wife has died fighting in Iraq, stranding him with two young girls with whom he's unable to share the truth about Mommy. These follow this summer's 1408, in which Cusack portrayed a travel writer estranged from his wife and haunted by the ghost of his dead daughter, all the while stuck in a hotel room that's come to life in order to put Cusack to death. Very little of this, by the way, is covered in What to Expect When You're Expecting.
No wonder Cusack's remained a confirmed bachelor — in the movies, at least, parenting doesn't seem all it's cracked up to be. Martian Child certainly isn't much fun, unless you were desperately awaiting K-PAX with a kid instead of Kevin Spacey. Not that there's ever any question over whether Dennis (Bobby Coleman) is actually a Martian, but the conceit's more or less the same: The kid sports sunglasses, lest the sunlight melt his eyeballs; wears a belt made of batteries, to keep him from floating into orbit; builds elaborate contraptions meant to connect him with his home planet; and spends his time conducting field research (which is to say, taking Polaroids) before the aliens return to spirit him back to Mars. And, like K-PAX, Martian Child equates mental instability and emotional detachment with the awwww-some cuteness of extraterrestrial life. The kid's not troubled — he just wants to be E.T.
All Dennis needs is a home to phone. And that's provided by a man who knows nothing about being a father, Cusack's David Gordon, a writer of sci-fi blockbusters who believes his own experiences as a boyhood outsider will allow him to heal the wounded child living under his roof. Those who know better than to allow the still-grieving, slightly stunted David custody of Dennis go along with it: the woman in charge of the adoption agency (Sophie Okonedo), the caseworker who visits during Dennis's one violent outburst (Richard Schiff), the sister who can't handle her own perfectly normal sons (Joan Cusack, shocking), the friend who'd clearly like to be more (Amanda Peet) and the agent begging David for the novel he's yet to deliver (Oliver Platt). They're all little more than contrived enablers, fictions created to bond an underdeveloped man to a broken boy, and then to watch the pair figure it all out on their own.
The movie, directed by Menno Meyjes (responsible for the loony and somehow boring Max) and written by the pair behind Twilight of the Golds, feels absolutely phony, predictable and pedestrian. But so too did much of the book upon which the movie's based: In 2002, award-winning sci-fi writer David Gerrold, known for having written the Star Trek episode "The Trouble With Tribbles," published a sorta-autobiographical novel in which he recounts his own struggles with a similarly disturbed eight-year-old boy named Dennis. That Gerrold chose to fictionalize his story was disappointing, and resulted in a novel that felt glib and cutesy, bereft of much of the ugliness and terror and pain that comes not only with being an adoptive father, but just a father.
If the novel felt gutted, the movie's downright gutless: Gerrold's gay, and at least the novel dealt with that aspect of his life — within the first ten pages, no less, during which Gerrold writes that being a gay adoptive father "wasn't an issue." But it clearly was for the filmmakers, as the movie turns David Gordon into a hetero stud, with Peet as the petite love interest always hovering in the margins, waiting to sink her giant teeth into David as soon as he gets over the dead wife (or girlfriend — we're never quite sure).
Of course, few going in to see Martian Child will know its origins or care that it's been sanitized. All they'll want to know is whether it's a time-killing tearjerker, the story of a sad little boy made whole by the stranger who comes to wuv him. And it kind of is, though Cusack and Coleman, who both appeared in Must Love Dogs, feel like they're in two separate movies — Cusack in the one about the single dad trying to get his shit together, Coleman in the one about the strange little boy who steals things and hangs upside down. Theirs is less a connection than a forced living arrangement brokered by agents and studio bosses.










